Gunther's Guide to Gear


My name is Gunther and I am a bit of an expert on traveling for work. I paid my dues for over ten years in the military, did some free-agent contract work, and spent the last six years as a professional mercenary.

Here is a list of the items I never leave behind when I’m on a job.

My new favorite toy, a Thunder Maul. These babies are hard to come by. I call her Melody.

This is not my weapon of choice, but sometimes you need to slash your way through a problem.

My old favorite. Swing her hard enough and it rains. I hear music in my head when I wield this beauty.

Now, sometimes you need to go smaller. When? I don’t know. But trust me, you always want back up. In this case, these beauts can be dual-wielded… well, if you’re strong enough, which I am.

Once in a while you might find yourself disarmed. Never fear, this is basically a weapon.

No one ever checks for these. They can be just as deadly as your maul.

Improvisation is key. Also, it helps when you’re burying your enemies.

Rope is standard. If you don’t have rope, go home, you idiot.

How else would you climb up a whore house to smash through a sky light to slay the dick that murdered your boss (who was like a father to you)?

Some might say that this is redundant, given the rope… but believe me, these things are versatile! You can use it as a whip as well as chain some doors shut.

I always have a portable ram on me… a smaller version of this thing here. It’s basically your VIP invitation to any party.

If anyone gives you any hassle about “over encumbrance,” just tell them that this here is less than 300 pounds. If you can’t carry 300 pounds worth of gear, maybe think about going into a different line of work, you wuss.

Gunther's Guide to Gear

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